I’m Not Trying to Be the Perfect Mom—Just an Intentional One
Have you seen those posts or memes that tell you not to strive for perfection in motherhood? You nod along, reminding yourself not to aim for the impossible, but something about it doesn’t feel quite right. Right? Yea, I’ve been there too…
For a long time, I thought I was supposed to follow the “shoulds”—what I should do as a mom, how I should parent. And honestly, that constant pressure left me feeling so anxious. It wasn’t until I stopped focusing on what I thought I was supposed to be doing and started focusing on what my kids actually needed in the moment that things began to shift.
Slowly, the anxiety started to ease up more and more. I realized that being present and intentional and showing up with love and attention made more of an impact than trying to get everything just right. That’s when things started to change, not just for me, but for my kids too.
For a while, I thought my motherhood journey had to include healing my inner child and working through things from my past. And while that work is important, I’ve come to realize that it’s not the same as raising my own children. My inner child work is for me, but motherhood is about being here for them. The moment I shifted my focus from mothering my inner child to being the mom my daughters needed, everything changed.
Instead of focusing on fixing what’s behind me, I leaned into the present. I started showing up for my babies with more clarity, less pressure, and more purpose. For me, motherhood isn’t about perfection or even “fixing” myself—it’s about being the best version of myself for them and creating a space where they feel safe, loved, and understood.
5 Realizations from Trying to be an Intentional Mom:
Your presence matters more than perfection.
I’ve had those days where nothing goes as planned—meals are late, and the house is a mess. But when I sit down with my kids, even for a few minutes, they don’t care about the chaos. They care that I’m there and fully present. What matters most isn’t having it all together, but being together in those small, imperfect moments.
It’s okay to let go of expectations.
I thoroughly believe in having a schedule—it helps keep things on track—but I’ve learned to allow room for flexibility. Some days, life shifts unexpectedly, and instead of stressing over things not going perfectly, I focus on adjusting to what my kids need in the moment. It’s about being flexible enough to pivot without losing the rhythm that keeps our days flowing smoothly.
Your kids don’t need perfection—they need you.
There have been plenty of days where I felt like I didn’t have all the answers, and that’s okay. My kids don’t need a perfect mom—they need me, showing up as I am, even when I’m tired or unsure. It’s in those real moments, where I’m being authentic, that they feel the most connected to me.
The small things ARE the big things.
I used to stress about making every moment a teachable one or creating big, memorable experiences. But what I’ve come to realize is that it’s the small, everyday moments—reading a bedtime story, holding their hand during a walk—that leave the biggest impact. Those are the memories they’ll carry with them.
Self-care gives you the energy to prioritize your kids when they need you.
I’m a big believer in self-care and healing (because “healed” isn’t a thing!). Moms should take care of themselves first, but there are times when our kids need to come first. True self-care means having the energy stored up so that when those moments arise, we can fully focus on our children without losing ourselves. And when things settle, we have the space to return to ourselves, replenishing that reserve.
As I always say, this kind of shift doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, patience, and being intentional in how you show up each day. But trust me, if you lean into this process, you’ll begin to feel more connected to your kids and more at ease in your role as a mom.
I hope this post inspires you to reflect on your own journey. If it resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments or connect with you online. Let’s keep the conversation going!
