why i put my marriage out on the internets...
Many of you reading this post know me from Kier & Them, where my husband and I share our entire lives as millennial newlyweds and parents with world. The YouTube channel was originally supposed to be about my husband’s life and journey into fatherhood (hence the name lol). But that all quickly changed after our engagement went viral and we posted this video discussing how our messy "situationship" led to an unplanned pregnancy and ultimate marriage.
I’ll be honest - I wasn’t the biggest fan at first. We were in the middle of therapy [my husband is a therapist so counseling is a regular thing in our marriage], and we were working through the trauma of how our relationship started and abruptly ended right before we found out I was pregnant with Emery. Even though we ended up getting back together and eventually got engaged, we did a lot of work to get to where we were. The relationship finally felt strong again, and I was afraid to open up that door to not only talk about it, but to also welcome scrutiny from strangers (aka the Internets).
I remember feeling my stomach drop when that video went live and the comments started rolling in. There were mixed responses, but they were real responses from real people who connected to our story in some way. And it felt extremely validating to hear that even though our story was unconventional, we weren’t the only ones who were trying to figure it all out. And BONUS - the willingness to figure it out is 75% of what growth looks like in marriage.
So we decided to continue those conversations and actually implement the therapeutic strategies we learned in counseling - but this time, in front of a camera. Most of the conversations were tough, but they almost all ended with tears of laughter, not of sadness. The silent treatment periods after our arguments got shorter, and our responses weren’t as petty. And to put plainly, we were just really really happy in our relationship. We had footage (and fans) to hold us accountable on our promises, and family (both in real-life and digitally) to cheer us on through our wins.
It’s a gamble, I know! And we’ve been warned about the YouTube couples curse lol. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love sharing our journey. We’ve come soooo far, and this is just the beginning. And the fact that people actually watch and relate to us is mind-boggling. So whether you’re a part of the Kier & Them fam or a brand new supporter, I appreciate your love and support!! <3
So if you’re interested in learning more about our relationship and how we got to where we are now, (or if you’re just nosey), check out the Sit Down Talk, our love and relationship series on YouTube, to see the growth for yourself! It’s a great binge, I promise!
For the entire month of July, I’ll be posting a blog post every Monday through Friday as part of Mattie’s James’ consistency challenge. I’ll be covering everything from love and relationships to motherhood, cooking, and home decor. #mjconsistencychallenge #mjconsistencypays
Thanks in advance for taking this journey with me and let’s connect soon! <3.
XO
