Revisiting My Journey and Finding Harmony in Self-Worth

In one of my previous blog articles, I opened up about my journey from a law school graduate to partner and COO in my husband Kier’s booming career. I shared how I personally struggled with self-doubt in my search for purpose. I was starting to get annoyed with people questioning whether I was living my dream or someone else’s. It was hard to hear, not because it was a truth I was being exposed to for the first time, but because it was an issue that I was already overwhelmingly aware of. I was actively seeking how to deal with it in a way that made sense for me, but I just needed some time to figure it out. 

Since then, I’ve made a bit of progress in reclaiming my identity. Now, at 35, I’m been able to define where I want to be, but I sometimes still find myself stuck when it comes to stepping out and committing to my own ventures. Despite spending countless hours creating business plans and ideas to figure out where I want to go with this, I recognize that I need to put it more of a concerted effort to make them a reality.

Recently, I spoke to my therapist about these persistent feelings, which felt like a mix of anxiety and a little bit of depression. She introduced me to the concept of dysthymia, a chronic form of depression characterized by a lack of energy and motivation. Understanding this has shed light on why I’ve been struggling so much to move forward. It’s time to address these feelings and explore how not setting boundaries in our work and marriage has impacted my sense of fulfillment. This is my accountability moment.  So here we go…

The Shift in Dynamics

For context, if you’re new here, our journey began as family vloggers on YouTube, sharing our lives and experiences with the world. But as time passed, and after a life-changing viral moment about mental health and fatherhood, Kier naturally took the spotlight. With his charm and charisma, it made sense for him to become the face of our brand. I, on the other hand, found myself in a more supportive role, and while I wasn’t jealous, I couldn’t ignore the growing sense of unfulfillment as opportunities came rushing in.

Kier’s recent book deal was such a proud moment for us both, but it also made me reflect on my own journey. When Kier decided to start writing his book, I became his co-writer, taking time away from my career to help him. He had an incredible story, and together, we worked to bring it to life. After about nine months, we hired additional help to finish the proposal, and I stepped back to focus on our family. And a few months later, we landed a book deal with one of the top 5 publishers in the world. 

During that time, a lot changed, and now that we’re solidifying what his new team looks like, we’re also in the process of redefining how I fit back into the picture. While I am absolutely here to support him and our business, I also recognize the importance of dedicating time to pursue my own dreams. But now feels like the right time to acknowledge the deep need to find balance and fulfillment in both our journeys.

Navigating Challenges in Partnership

Going into business with your significant other often leads to relationship issues, not necessarily because it’s a bad idea, but because it doesn’t always go smoothly. Working with your partner comes with its own set of unique challenges. Roles evolve and sometimes, the effort can feel uneven. When one person takes the spotlight, it can be easy, and is usually necessary, for the other to slip into a supporting role. While I don’t question my contributions or my value in our partnership, I’ve realized that I need to take a more active role in pursuing my goals. We’ve worked so hard to get Kier where he is . But he’s good, and the foundation is strong. Now it’s time to start putting in more effort to build mine. Sis, you can’t let your dreams get lost in the pursuit of someone else’s. They deserve just as much attention and dedication.

This therapy session really opened my eyes to the importance of something that I thought I was good at, but clearly wasn’t the case here. And that’s setting boundaries. Without them, it’s easy to lose yourself in the partnership. Clear roles and responsibilities aren’t just beneficial—they’re necessary to maintain a healthy balance between work and life. I’ve had to think about the boundaries I need to establish to ensure that I don’t lose sight of my own goals. It’s about defining where my support for Kier ends and where my focus on my aspirations begins.

In session, we specifically talked about the need to fight for my identity and fulfillment. I’ve always been a creative, and it’s time to put that passion front and center. I can’t continue to play an active role in someone else’s dreams while taking a passive role in my own. I need to be the main character in my story, with Kier supporting me in the way I’ve supported him. It’s about being vulnerable, reclaiming my aspirations, and making sure I give them the space and attention they deserve. And this doesn’t mean stepping away from our shared business, but rather redefining my role within it. It’s really just about prioritizing carving out space for my own projects and ensuring that my voice is heard.

Building a Supportive Partnership

Creating a balanced partnership is an ongoing journey for us. It requires open communication, regular check-ins, and a mutual respect for each other’s aspirations. Kier and I are working on this together, striving to build a dynamic where both of us feel valued and supported.

For those of you who are navigating a similar situation, I encourage you to advocate for yourselves. Establish the boundaries you need to thrive, and don’t be afraid to prioritize your fulfillment. Remember, your worth isn’t tied to your roles or sacrifices.

Where to Go Next…

My journey has always been about growth and understanding. It’s about recognizing the need for change and taking the steps necessary to create a more balanced and fulfilling life for myself. As I move forward, I’m committed to finding that balance, ensuring that both Kier and I can thrive in our roles.

Here’s to the journey ahead—to finding our voices, building supportive partnerships, and embracing the opportunities that come our way.