My Battle with Finding Self-Worth Beyond Traditional Success
As I sit here ready to pour my heart out, I find myself completely taken in by a sea of emotions—emotions that have been brewing within me for quite some time and I haven’t really had the courage to open up about it until now. At 34, I’m at a crossroads of my life, reflecting on the journey that led me here, grappling with hidden feelings of self-doubt, and searching for a sense of purpose in a world that often measures success by traditional standards.
My particular journey began after I graduated law school, full of dreams of passing the bar, carving out a path for myself in the legal profession, and literally being like the modern-day Olivia Pope. However, life had other plans for me. After law school, each time I attempted the bar exam, I found myself navigating the complexities of pregnancy and motherhood, prioritizing the precious moments with my growing family over professional aspirations. And though I never ended up passing the bar, I discovered an unexpected opportunity in entertainment law, where my passion for the industry thrived.
For six years, I immersed myself in my entertainment law career, experiencing some challenges, but mostly successes along the way. But just as I found my stride, life took another unexpected turn. My husband, the love of my life, embarked on a journey to become a social media influencer, thought-leader, and a renowned therapist. Little did I know, I would play a crucial role in his success.
When he expressed his desire to venture into social media, I became his silent partner, studying strategies and learning from other influencers. I poured my heart and soul into building our brand, never expecting his solo career to skyrocket the way it did. Yet, here we are, living his dream together. And while I'm immensely proud of him and the life we built, I can't help but wonder, what about my dreams?
With his career flourishing, the dynamics of our family shifted. I made the natural decision to step back from corporate life and focus on our children, his career, and our business, where I currently serve as the COO. I found fulfillment in the behind-the-scenes operations, yet a lingering sense of worthlessness kept creeping behind me. Amidst the chaos of managing everything, I've started to question my own worth. Do my sacrifices define my value? Am I living my dream, or someone else's?
These questions echo in my mind, haunting me with uncertainty. And perhaps, if you find yourself in a similar situation, they resonate with you too. It's natural to lose sight of yourself when you dedicate so much to others. But remember, your worth isn't tied to your roles or sacrifices.
In moments of quiet reflection, I grapple with questions that many may relate to:
What are your dreams and aspirations outside of your current roles?
Are you prioritizing your own happiness and fulfillment?
How can you carve out time for self-discovery amidst your busy life?
But in this strange season of of self-doubt, I've discovered these profound truths that have reshaped my perspective and got me through:
Self-worth is not contingent upon external validation or societal norms. It resides within each of us, waiting to be acknowledged and embraced.
The value of our contributions transcends conventional measures of success. Whether it’s nurturing a family, supporting a partner, or pursuing personal passions, every role is integral to the fabric of our lives.
Embracing vulnerability and authenticity allows us to connect with others on a deeper level, fostering meaningful relationships and a sense of belonging.
To those navigating similar journeys, I offer the following advice:
Acknowledge and honor your unique journey, free from comparison or judgment. Your path is yours alone, and it holds infinite potential for growth and self-discovery.
Embrace the complexities of your roles and responsibilities, recognizing the inherent value in each. Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent, a career professional, or both, your contributions matter.
Practice self-compassion and grace as you navigate the ebbs and flows of life. You are worthy of love, acceptance, and fulfillment, regardless of where you are on your journey.
Don't be afraid to reassess your priorities and goals. It's never too late to pursue your dreams.
Prioritize self-care and carve out time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Seek support from loved ones and consider seeking professional guidance if needed.
In the midst of life’s uncertainties, may we all find solace in the beauty of our shared humanity, celebrating the diverse tapestry of experiences that shape who we are. And may we always remember that our worth lies not in what we do, but in the depth of our hearts and the richness of our souls.
Let’s take it deeper with a thought prompt…
Take a moment to reflect on the roles and responsibilities that define your life. Consider the various hats you wear, whether as a parent, partner, professional, or individual pursuing personal passions. Then, ask yourself: What moments bring me the greatest sense of fulfillment and joy in each of these roles? How can I nurture and prioritize those moments in my daily life? Allow your reflections to guide you towards a deeper understanding of your values, aspirations, and the paths that lead to true fulfillment.
