Beyond #CoupleGoals - Our Journey from Situationship to Now

In a world where the highlight reels of relationships are often polished and shared under the #CoupleGoals hashtag, I find it both flattering and a little misleading when Kier and I receive that label. Don’t get me wrong, I cherish what we have together. But there's a depth to our story that doesn't fit neatly into an Instagram post or a tweet. Today, I want to pull back the curtain on our relationship — from its unexpected beginnings to the nuanced partnership we share now.

In 2014, Kier and I were in what you might call a "situationship." At least, that's how I saw it. He was undoubtedly attractive, we could talk for hours, and every moment spent together was genuinely fun. But despite all that, I didn't see him through the lens of a future partner. It wasn’t a reflection on him, but rather where I was at the time — emotionally unwinding from a past 6 year long relationship that had drained much of my energy and spirit. I was in a phase of rediscovery, focusing on myself, and I was extremely upfront about it. I remember specifically telling him early on, "I don't know if I see a future for us romantically, but I just know you’re destined to do great things. I hope I still know you by then."

Life, with its unparalleled sense of humor, decided to take us on an unforeseen journey. About two years into our "situationship," an unexpected pregnancy turned our world upside down. It was at this juncture that we made a crucial decision — not to hastily get married, but instead, to embark on a journey of therapy. Our goal was to learn how to co-parent effectively, communicate openly, and ensure we laid a solid foundation for our daughter. Through individual and couples therapy, we discovered common ground and began to fall in love in a way neither of us had ever experienced. It was a love that felt safe, profoundly altering the way we saw each other.

This journey through therapy and mutual discovery was what led Kier to propose, and us to decide to get married. Far from a knee-jerk reaction to 'make things right,' our decision was a deeply considered one, rooted in a newfound love and a desire to embark on this new journey together, armed with a stronger foundation than ever before.

Fast forward to almost five years of marriage and six and a half years of parenting, and here we are. Many have called us #CoupleGoals, but it's essential to understand the layers and complexities that have shaped our relationship. It's not just about the beautiful moments captured in photos but also about the struggles, the uncertainties, and the growth we've experienced both individually and together.

Kier and I are keenly aware of the nuances in our relationship. The beginning may not have been traditional or romantic in the conventional sense, but it has taught us invaluable lessons about love, commitment, and the unpredictable nature of life. We've learned that love isn't just about the initial spark or the shared interests but about choosing to grow together, even when the path isn't clear.

As we navigate the future, we lead with this awareness, embracing the complexities and celebrating the growth. Our journey together is a testament to the fact that relationships are multifaceted, and love can flourish in the most unexpected circumstances.

So, while the #CoupleGoals tag is flattering, remember that behind every picture-perfect moment is a story filled with its own set of challenges and triumphs. Our story is a reminder that the true essence of a relationship lies not in its outward appearance but in the shared journey of growth, understanding, and love.

Thank you for allowing me to share our unvarnished truth with you. It's a narrative that's more about real growth than superficial goals, and I hope it inspires you to embrace the beauty in the complexities of your relationships.

Let’s take it deeper with a thought prompt…

Pause for a moment to consider the unexpected turns and developments in your closest relationships, particularly those that started off on unsure footing or evolved in ways you hadn't anticipated. Reflect on the role these relationships play in your life now, whether it be as a partner, friend, or family member. Then, ask yourself: In what ways have these unexpected journeys enriched my life and contributed to my personal growth? How can I continue to embrace and cultivate the positive changes and deep connections that have emerged from these experiences? Let your thoughts guide you towards a greater appreciation of your journey and the lessons learned along the way, illuminating your values and the essence of what brings you true happiness and fulfillment.